Tuesday, November 12, 2013


The loss of a parent can be very devastating.  At such a time, we realize so many things.  We understand that we no longer have our parent to call for help or advice.  At the same time, we realize that we are now the eldest person in our lineage.  We are now the person that others rely on for advice, experience, acceptance, and love.  We have suddenly become the custodian of our legacy.  We accept the responsibilities of keeping our family together, keeping them safe, and moving them toward a better life.  The torch of responsibility passes from one generation to the next as the breath of life and soul exists our parent’s body.

Earlier today, I witnessed the passing of the torch in my cousin’s family.  Today was her mother’s funeral.  My cousin, ever strong, spoke at her mother’s funeral as she did at her father’s just three years earlier.  As my cousin spoke of the love and lessons her mother had taught her, I could hear her breath quiver.  I marveled at her strength.  I remembered our earlier years as children when we would play at my great grandmother’s home.  My cousin would lead our small band of cousins as we struggled to play in harmony together.  As I sat in the congregation, my eyes scanned those attending.  I noticed that most of us, our little play group of cousins, were in attendance.  As my cousin spoke, I could see each of our playgroup empathize with her excruciating experience.
My cousin is so strong.  She has been tempered at her Makers hand.  She has suffered extreme trials and burdens and she has learned great lessons.  They have made her the amazing woman that she is today.  I have no doubt that my cousin will exercise great leadership with her family.  They are fortunate to have her wisdom, her strength, and her unconditional love to draw upon in times of weakness, self-doubt, or need.   

My cousin loved her mother.  She respected and appreciated her mother.  As she spoke, I saw a unique and marvelous transformation.  Today, my cousin accepted the passing of her mother’s torch and became the custodian for her family group.  She now carries the responsibility for her lineage’s heritage.  She will do a fine job, of that I am sure.  Through the trials of her life, she has suffered extreme difficulties and extreme joys.  Her experiences have well prepared her for this new phase of life.  She will have moments of weakness, self-doubt, anger, and despair.  They will be out weighted by the joy that comes from service and sacrifice for others. 
My name is Tracy Renee Lee.  I am a funeral director, author, and freelance writer.  It is my life's work to comfort the bereaved and help them live on. 

Please follow my blog at http://pushin-up-daisies.blogspot.com/ and Twitter account  @PushnUpDaisies,  visit my website  www.QueenCityFuneralHome.com or read my book “Pushin’ Up Daisies”  for additional encouragement and information.