Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Thanksgiving Loss


I had a dear friend die this past year.  Although he passed away in a different state, I go to his social media page and leave him messages every now and then.  I miss him so terribly, because he was an amazing human being.  His heart was true and good, and he was honest with his fellow man and with himself.  He was a friend to my family, and when you met him, you loved him, because of his goodness.  My friend died smack dab in the middle of Thanksgiving and Christmas.  How like him, he died in the season of family tradition and giving, two things he revered.
It would be easy to be miserable this year, thinking of how much we miss our dear friend, but he would not want that.  Instead, we will remember all of the good that he contributed during his short life.  We will be thankful for the time we had with him, the growth he inspired in us, his kindness, his generosity and for his passion for truth. 

 I read his obituary today, for the first time.  It spoke volumes about my friend.  It mentioned his accomplishments, which were many; and then, there was a paragraph that told who he was.  “Preston always stood up for correct principals.  He was a scriptorian, loved music, upheld the Constitution, big on self-sufficiency and was courageous and undaunted.” (Richfield Reaper, December 2012) I am thankful for so many things, and although I may shed a tear that he is gone, I will forever remain grateful for the influence of my dear friend, and the example he set for me. 

 The holidays can be a very difficult time for someone who has lost a loved one, especially if this is his or her first holiday season since the loss.  Even though we try to focus on how much better our lives are for having had our loved one, we miss them so terribly, that it is difficult to experience the cheer of the season.

If you know someone suffering through his or her first holiday season after loss, please be mindful of him or her.  This is a particularly difficult time and they may feel lonely and isolated.  Take a moment to remember with them, the wonderful moments of life they shared with their loved one.  Participate in family traditions and create new ones that honor their deceased.  Your blessings will be great, and you will have helped someone through a time, when your good acts of kindness were priceless.
That is what my friend Preston would have done. 

 My name is Tracy Renee Lee.  I am a funeral director, author and freelance writer.  I write books, weekly bereavement articles, and mid-week grief briefs related to understanding and coping with grief.  It is my life's work to comfort the bereaved and help them live on. 
Please follow my blog at http://pushin-up-daisies.blogspot.com/ and Twitter account  @PushnUpDaisies,  visit my website  www.QueenCityFuneralHome.com or read my book “Pushin’ Up Daisies”  for additional encouragement and information.