Monday, September 15, 2014


We must get back to caring for one another, for our neighbors, and most importantly for our families.  The family is the nucleus of society.  One witnesses the truth of this statement most profoundly displayed at the death of a loved one.  Without strong families, we are vulnerable and weak.  We are subject to personal and societal attack.  This weakness begins as a small wound and proliferates into a cancer.

As I see clients pass through my funeral home, some with large families, yet very little attendance at their services, my fears and concerns for that particular family increase.  Without strong family associations, children have no sense of belonging.  An absence of belonging creates weakness and a loss of one’s attachment, not only to their families, but also to human beings and society in general.  Without attachment, people can become self-centered, insecure, greedy, weak and evil. 

Attachment is a basic human emotion.  In Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, he lists attachment theory as Belongingness and Love.  It is this basic need for family, affection, relationships, work groups, etc., which separates us as human beings rather than mere animals.  Without this attachment, human beings are unable to civilly function, and their society fails.  I see it happening each time I have a client with low or no attendance at their services.  I see it happening among our youth.  Do not allow this sorrowful weakness to become your family’s Achilles’ heel.  Actively engage in strengthening your families, reunite with your loved ones, create memories and attachments to each other; in so doing, you will strengthen your fortitude and will be less likely to suffer the destruction of your family’s ability to band together in times of crisis. 

Loss of life is painful only to those who love one another.  Love is a strong and powerful emotion.  Without it, we are weak and powerless.  A man does not go into to battle because he has strong muscles.  He goes into battle because his heart creates overwhelming passion that engages his unrelenting will to fight for principle and love.  A meek and gentle woman remains so only until someone attacks her child.  She then becomes the attacker’s worst nightmare.  She springs forth into uncontrollable fighting passion and will not give up until the threat to her child has been neutralized.  It is love that motivates both sexes into action.  To be strong and powerful, we must have love in our hearts.  To have love in our hearts, we must have attachments.   It is time to engage our emotions and understand that without them; we are lost already.

The byproduct of love is compassion.  Compassion is a virtue.  Compassion creates an uncontrollable motivation for the defense of those whom we love.  It creates and fulfills the basic needs of survival as described in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.  Without love, one is weak and powerless, but with love, one is strong and powerful.  It is time to reengage with your loved ones.  In so doing, you will benefit and so will society as a whole.  Care for them in their joys and triumphs and in their sorrows and sufferings.   

One may see plainly the failings of society at a funeral.  I see them daily.  Please save yourself from failure.  Re-familiarize yourself with family members and develop deep attachments to them.  Become a strong family unit and the rest of your life will find better order and greater satisfaction.  In short, you will be happier and stronger as your attachments and love develop toward your family and those around you. 

Loss of life is painful only to those who love one another.  Is it not better to grieve the passing of someone you love, than never to have loved at all?

My name is Tracy Renee Lee.  I am a funeral director, author and freelance writer.  I write books, weekly articles and brief tips on understanding and coping with grief.  It is my life's work to comfort the bereaved and help them live on. 
Please follow my blog at, follow me on Twitter @PushnUpDaisies and visit my website for additional encouragement and information at