Monday, October 13, 2014

Secret to Recovery

I have the dearest friend. She is funny, witty, beautiful, kind, sweet, creative, giving, smart and a multitude of other things I have always wished I could be. Her humor brightens anyone’s day the moment she walks into a room. Another great quality that my friend has is that when she enters an auditorium full of students, she can single out anyone who needs her special attention. She then proceeds to change their dreary day into something wonderful. My friend is a college professor.
Interestingly, although my friend has this amazing gift to change dreary days into wonderful ones for others, she is somewhat unable to do if for herself. Her life is not necessarily void of unhappiness, loneliness and sadness. These last few years have been difficult for my friend and I have worried about her quite a lot. Her life is unique and so these difficulties are not easily fixed. She lives and works in four different states.
My contact with my friend is sporadic at best; she and I have such very busy lives. Truly, there is no excuse for my lack of consistency in keeping in contact with her. She and I both have cell phones, and so she is always just a speed dial away. I find that contact with all of my very best friends is somewhat sporadic. I have come to realize that this is my fault, and I vow year after year to improve. Fortunately, my friends love me enough to put up with it, but I know it sometimes hurts their feelings and for that, I must improve.
I spoke with my dearest friend the other day. She was travelling between states as her dad was ill and dying in one state and her aunt, suffering the same fate, was in another. During our conversation, she told me she had found the secret to changing her dreary days into wonderful ones. Her secret is so elementary that I thought I should share it.
My friend's elixir for happiness and better health is to, “Count your Blessings.” She promises that if she is ill, sad or unhappy, she can count her blessings and her pain, both physical and psychological miraculously vanish.
It is true that I have seen this work among my clients. Grief can be a horrendous burden to carry, and it can last a very long time. There comes a day, however, that if you concentrate on your blessings, you will find you have more to be grateful for than you have to despair over. That will be the day that your smile returns and your sorrow is replaced with fond memories of your dearly departed loved ones.
My friend's dad died two days after our conversation. We spoke again and she was amazingly happy. She and her children were okay with their loss. Her family came together and counted the blessings her dad had made possible in their lives.
My advice is to take my friend's advice. Count your blessings; name them one by one. If you do, you will find that one day; they will outweigh your sorrows.
My name is Tracy Renee Lee. I am a funeral director, author and freelance writer. I write books, weekly articles and brief tips on understanding and coping with grief. It is my life's work to comfort the bereaved and help them live on.
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