People die every day of the year, but if your loved one has died on, or just before a holiday, that holiday has forever changed. Unfortunately, as the years progress, your friends will forget, or not know, that your loved one died on a particular holiday. Through no fault of your own, this can make holiday cheer intolerable. It is important for you to realize and prepare yourself for this experience.
Do not feel insecure or shy over notifying your friends that the upcoming holiday will carry sadness and loneliness for you. Understanding that you may need to limit your exposure to parties, as well as other events, allows you to manage your exposure to your tolerance level, and allows your friends to understand what is happening. There is nothing wrong in doing this.
As time progresses, so too will your ability to tolerate social activities. The pain of losing your loved one, will one day transfer into fond and loving memories. Once you cross this threshold, you will find you are again able to tolerate events with a modicum of comfort and joy. Until that day, forewarning your friends, will offer them opportunities to reach out and help you move through the holiday with support and exposure levels that are comfortable for you.
If you have suffered holiday loss, I extend my deepest condolences. The pain you feel at the loss of your loved one is brought on through the love you shared with them. Love is the most powerful emotion known to mankind. Because of its depth and power, it transcends all other emotions. The love in your heart is stronger than your sadness. This weaker emotion will one day make way, allowing more powerful memories of love and happiness to replace it.
Sadness is temporary, but love is eternal.
My name is Tracy Renee Lee. I am a funeral director, author and professional speaker. I write books and weekly bereavement articles related to understanding and coping with grief. I am the American Funeral Director of the Year Runner-Up and recipient of the BBB’s Integrity Award. I deliver powerful messages and motivate audiences in their "Pursuit of Excellence". It is my life's work to comfort the bereaved and help them live on.