As I sat with my client pre-arranging her mother’s funeral services, she became emotionally distressed. She apologized for wanting to accomplish her mother’s funeral swiftly, upon her death. She felt ashamed and wondered if others would see her as insensitive or ungrateful. She thought others might think she was treating her mother without respect or that she had not appreciated her mother’s love and sacrifices.
Actually, nothing could be further from the truth. The desire to quickly accomplish final disposition is neither an act of selfishness nor a lack of love and appreciation. The desire to quickly accomplish final disposition may be an act of love.
This daughter desires to quickly accomplish final disposition because she has witnessed her mother suffer through a long and painful illness. The ravages on her mother's life and body have been so physically painful and emotionally stressful, that her daughter cannot bear the suffering one more moment. The only scenario to render relief to her mother is death. The only scenario to render relief to her daughter is final disposition. The relief the daughter will experience is known as closure. Because the pain of witnessing her mother’s suffering is so severe, she cannot rest or feel relief until her mother’s burial is accomplished.
At that moment, the moment of final disposition, both mother and daughter will be at rest. One will be laid to rest, and one will live at rest.
My name is Tracy Renee Lee. I am a funeral director, author and professional speaker. I write books and weekly bereavement articles related to understanding and coping with grief. I am the American Funeral Director of the Year Runner-Up and recipient of the BBB’s Integrity Award. I deliver powerful messages and motivate audiences toward positive recovery. It is my life's work to comfort the bereaved and help them live on.
Please follow my blog at http://pushin-up-daisies.blogspot.com/, follow me on Twitter @PushnUpDaisies and visit my website for additional encouragement. For information on booking speeches, go to www.QueenCityFuneralHome.com.